


Lessons I Learned from Ghost Adventures

by Hobbit4Lyfe



Series: How to Survive Scary Stuff [2]
Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5184914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbit4Lyfe/pseuds/Hobbit4Lyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just a short piece I wrote with humorous and random things I learned from repeatedly watching Ghost Adventures. Moved from FanFiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons I Learned from Ghost Adventures

1\. If you walk into what feels like a spider web, it could actually be a b****-slap from a ghost.  
2\. Always wear a mask. You don’t want to get crap in your lungs.  
3\. Sometimes, the toughest-looking guys are the biggest chickens.  
4\. Some ghost-recording equipment lets you hear burping mosquitoes.  
5\. Sometimes ghosts will tell you dirty little secrets, like if they got pregnant before getting married, or if they killed someone.  
6\. Don’t go puddle-jumping right after a thunderstorm, especially when said puddle is near a downed power line.  
7\. If you yell enough, ghosts WILL come out.  
8\. Sometimes, the toughest-looking guys are also the biggest goofballs. See also Lesson 3.  
9\. 15 minutes seems to be the magic number for the amount of time it takes for someone to die in a hanging execution gone wrong.  
10\. Chirping crickets make great rave music.  
11\. If someone says not to mess with something like a painting because bad things will happen, don’t mess with said thing.  
12\. Watch out for old ladders and staircases. You don’t want to accidentally fall through, or come close.  
13\. If bricks start flying at you, the best escape route is the window of an upper floor of the building.  
14\. Don’t use an Ouija board in a house where famous exorcisms took place.  
15\. Black cats are bad luck. Demonic black cats are worse. If a random black cat shows up when you’re talking about them, get out.  
16\. Wandering around sewers is a brilliant idea, especially when said sewers lead to a portal to hell. And by brilliant, I mean terrible.  
17\. When ghost hunting at night, watch out for doors and furniture, so you don’t run into them.  
18\. Apparently, there are light wands that are the ghost versions of bug zapper lamps.  
19\. Sometimes, spirits of children are actually demons in disguise.  
20\. Dolls are evil.  
21\. If you’re reenacting what happened when someone was hurt by a ghost, watch out for old, rusty nails in old doors.  
22\. Don’t try to go through a flood to get to your ghost hunt. See also Lesson 6.  
23\. When walking around during an experiment during a lockdown, try not to step on your portable video monitor/portable DVD/Blu-Ray player.  
24\. Metal detectors also make great rave music. See also Lesson 10.  
25\. Don’t dare ghosts to hurt you, because they probably will. Especially don’t do it if the ghosts are supposed to be notorious for hurting people. See also Lessons 7 and 11.  
26\. Locking one of your ghost hunting buddies into a morgue body cooler is only fun for a little while. It’s even less fun if you wander off for a while and get lost trying to go back and get them.  
27\. If you’re investigating a set of buildings connected by a huge maze of pitch-black underground tunnels, try not to use the tunnels as much as possible, and limit yourself to only a couple buildings that are close to each other.  
28\. Following graffiti of arrows pointing to doors in tunnels is fun. Especially if said arrows are tagged, “This way to death.”  
29\. Sometimes ghost hunts can turn into episodes of Cops.  
30\. Don’t screw around with voodoo. Ever.  
31\. Be careful of bees. Also, be careful of snakes.  
32\. Sometimes ghosts can actually be real-live bears that are actually raccoons. Or cats.  
33\. If animals freak out in the middle of an investigation, something’s up.  
34\. Don’t go into scary caves. See also Lessons 16, 27, and 28.  
35\. Be careful when renovating an old building. Ghosts don’t always like people messing with their homes.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Lessons I Learned from Ghost Brothers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7232083) by [Hobbit4Lyfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbit4Lyfe/pseuds/Hobbit4Lyfe)




End file.
